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Joke of the Day

"Saying you like a lot of meat in your taco is received differently on Twitter than it is on Facebook. I know that now."

"A Lima bean and a kidney bean walk into a bar. The kidney bean shouts, ""Hey! I'm a bean!"" Then the lima bean replied, ""NO! Lima bean!"""

"WELCOME TO GYM. [5gp] WOOD MUSCLE // [10gp] LEATHER MUSCLE // [50gp] IRON MUSCLE // [100gp] WISTFUL MUSCLE // [999gp] DESOLATION MUSCLE"

"My password is ELEPHANT. It may not be the strongest but I never forget."

"I hate my dodgy household appliances... My hairdryer sucks and my vaccum blows."

"Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to the bar. Why the bar? To get to the toilet. Why the toilet? Because that's where all the cocks hang out."

"Jesus' favorite pick up line ""Hey girl. I'm the son of God back from the dead and trust me, I put the erection in resurrection."""

"[takes a sip at wine tasting] Ah yes, this is nice. You can really taste the wet dog and Code Red Mountain Dew."

"Why did the architect take so long to get started on his church blueprints? He couldn't decide what font to use."

"Whats green and can jump a mile a minute ? A frog with hiccups !"