19540
Joke of the Day
"I found out where babies come from and it's fucking gross you guys."
Next Joke
"If you wear a cape to a meal, you can spin it around to the front and have a full sized bib for eating"
"They say that ignorance is bliss But I'm just as happy not knowing!"
"First time and with a hooker They are both naked and he says -""this is my first time..."" she says -""relax and tell me what you like..."" -""cheesburguer"""
"[NSFW] I met a girl called Michelle at a bar... Her: Hi, I am Michelle Me: I am Donaldson, but people sometimes call me Dick. Her: How do you get Dick from Donaldson? Me: You ask nicely."
"SPELLING BEE: spell ""configurable"" ME: C-O-N-F-I-G-U-R-A-B-- SPELLING BEE: (interupting) yes i am a bee but i fail to see why thats relevant"
"My mental health is like a rainbow All over the spectrum"
"ME: My husband says you use special traps that put the mice outside to play with their friends EXTERMINATOR [LOOKS AT HUSBAND]: umm, yeaahh"
"Was standing in my front yard this evening and some neighborhood kids tried to deflate me."
"Got kicked outta Starbucks for trying to order a venti mocha choca latta ya-ya creole lady marmalaaaaaaaaade."