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Joke of the Day

"I HAVE BEEN TO FOUR DIFFERENT FABRIC STORES LOOKING FOR THIS 'WIFEY MATERIAL'! WHERE COULD THIS TYPE OF MATERIAL BE!?"

"There are two types of people in this world. And I hate them both."

"Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage."

"If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame."

"What's the difference between a caver and a spelunker? A caver rescues a spelunker."

"British police don't carry guns. So what exactly do they do then? Yell ""STOP... OR I'LL SAY STOP AGAIN!"""

"Sorry I wrote ""All dogs matter"" on your ""I my Weimaraner"" bumper sticker."

"I take everything with a grain of salt these days Now I have hypertension"

"Hookers and blow Whats the difference between a hooker and a crack dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again"

"""If anyone has any objections, speak now or- SHES LITERALLY A BANANA Groom: IS THIS TRUE EMMA? Best man: I f'kin KNEW she bruised too easily"