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Joke of the Day

"""If anyone has any objections, speak now or- SHES LITERALLY A BANANA Groom: IS THIS TRUE EMMA? Best man: I f'kin KNEW she bruised too easily"

"What did the cook say to his wife? I'm cumin!"

"I just saw a commercial that invited me to watch more of it on the internet! Bc That's the problem w/commercials! They're not long enough!"

"A psychic dwarf escaped from prison There's a small medium at large."

"Maybe you need a ladder to climb out of my business?"

"You're so ugly that You're so ugly when you went to the store to get your photos developed they threw away the memory card"

"MOM: You give that back to him, mister ME: Ok mom MOM: and what do we say now? ME: *climbing off unicycle* sorry I tried to steal your girl"

"Who took the spoopy from the spoopy jar? mr skeltal"

"Hey people who say ""look at our new baby"", thanks for clarifying that because my initial reaction was to ask where you got the used baby"

"Technically, setting someone on fire is burning calories."