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Joke of the Day

"Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage."

"How did Charlie Sheen contract HIV? He blew a Piston in his car."

"""Someone's been sleeping in my bed!"" said mommy bear. ""Who hasn't"" muttered daddy bear. ""What?! You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!"""

"Why is 4840 square yards like a bad tooth ? Because it is an acre."

"A female midget FBI agent went undercover to bust a drug gang by sleeping with gang members. She was known as the Little Fed Riding Hood."

"85% of conversations with my mom is trying to figure out who the ""she"" in her story is."

"What do a thong and Donald Trump's toupee have in common? They both barely cover an asshole."

"What do you find in a church's bathroom? Holy shit."

"My Friend said her ovaries hurt I told her she was Ovary-acting."

"I saw a sign in a shop- Mosquito nets 10' I didn't even know bugs could play the lottery."