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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people in this world. And I hate them both."

"What's a redneck's favorite dating website? Ancestry.com"

"Today is national suicide prevention day.. so remember.. If you see any suicide bombers...... Shoot them."

"This woman at work sounds just like me. I'm going to pay her to call my Mom and occasionally say mmhmm and how nice."

"What do you call a plane with no wings? Fly Curious."

"Just once, I'd like to sleep as deeply as a cartoon sheriff whose keys are dangling seductively from his belt."

"What's the same with 9/11 and Goliath and the giant? They were both caused by a message from god."

"Wanna know why they burnt down the cvs pharmacy in Baltimore? They stopped selling newports..."

"The best ""Ben Dover"" type of names you know thread. I just used one of these types of names as a joke earlier and realized I don't know that many of them. I bet reddit knows a lot of them!"

"Blood oranges at the farmer's market. What am I, The Lord of War? Peddle your conflict fruit someplace else."