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Joke of the Day

"Where is a tornado put in jail to be punished? -In a high pressure cell"

"My brother started making terrible bird puns to annoy me... But toucan play at that game"

"Why did the introduction and the conclusion break up? They were just never on the same page..."

"I scream, you scream- Fine, I'll put down the flare gun and let the hostages go."

"I like my woman how I like my wine Locked up in my cellar."

"I hate when weather reporters talk shit on snow...Like why are u even in the weather biz if ur not down w/ snow"

"What was Will Hunting's backup plan if that guy said he didn't particularly care for apples?"

"I was told that hardcore Christians don't think anal counts as losing your virginity so that's why pastors get off scot free"

"if a bee sting u, u get a lil pain but the bee dies so who really wins? ""lol im OWNING all these bees"" i say as i put my face in the beehive"

"Did you know that a chicken coop can't have more than 3 doors? If it has 4 doors, it's a sedan."