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Joke of the Day
"I don't like paying for pizza because I hate making my pizza feel like a whore."
Next Joke
"Yes, I am aware pigs are more intelligent than dogs. Why would I want to eat an inferior animal and absorb its lesser powers?"
"Just changed my dating profile headline to: ""Seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives"" ...crossing my fingers"
"Just wondering why Bob Marley denied shooting the deputy but thought admitting he shot the sheriff would be a-okay."
"What did Vincent van Gogh call himself when he joined the Justice League? The Starry Knight"
"Why did the hoagie go to the shrink? He was having problems with his sub-conscious."
"What great song is associated with hamburgers and baseball? 'Steak Me Out to the Ballgame'!"
"Hmmm... Jack Nicholson. He's that guy from the Laker's games right?"
"People who are genuinely surprised when politicians behave badly should be forced to wear helmets for their own protection."
"I'm thinking about opening a sports themed strip club. Gonna call it The Press Box."