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Joke of the Day

"What do an elephant and an apricot have in common? They're both grey.....................................well except for the apricot."

"How do you stop a lawyer from drownng? Shoot him before he hits the ground"

"[to astronaut brother] Ooooh la la Gary's going to SPACE *does jerkoff motion* I'll be here on EARTH where my pizza & tv won't FLOAT AWAY"

"What do jokes and penises have in common? The short ones are never good."

"Why was the daybreak sad? Because it was in morning."

"""How often do you floss?"" Every day ""How often do you lie?"" Every six months"

"What do you call a sad state? Missouri"

"Why did Frankenstein squeeze his girlfriend to death? He had a crush on her."

"I'd say popping your trunk to release 10,000 butterflies is the most magical way to elude the cops."

"Why do Asian girls have small boobs? Because only A's are acceptable."