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Joke of the Day

"An American & Mexican are talking. American: ""Your Government needs to spy on your people, man. You guys have a drug problem."" Mexican: ""What drug problem? We get drugs pretty easily!"""

"I drink because I care. About me. And drinks."

"The three modes of communication Telephone, Telegraph and Tell a woman"

"Just complained to my girlfriend that my iPhone battery wasn't lasting more than 2 hours & it dawned on me that I'm white & totally spoiled."

"What's a Latin professor's favorite song? Hit the quam"

"What's the diffence between a thong and a bandsaw? Nothing... Just one inch of a slip with your finger and you're in deep shit in both cases."

"They should put a statue of me next to the Statue of Liberty so immigrants know the American Dream is hit or miss."

"Twinkle twinkle little hoe, name a guy you didn't blow."

"What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth? A mechanic."

"A programmer heads to the shops His wife says ""grab a loaf of bread and if they have eggs get a dozen"" He comes home with twelve loaves of bread."