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Joke of the Day

"Just complained to my girlfriend that my iPhone battery wasn't lasting more than 2 hours & it dawned on me that I'm white & totally spoiled."

"You walk into a bar It's a gay bar, faggot"

"A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says... ""Five beers please."""

"Pessimist: Oh, this can't get any worse! Optimist: Yes, it can!"

"[Cannibal Restaurant] Waiter: Need anything else? Cannibal: No, I'm stuffed. I can't even finish this. Could I get a body bag?"

"You know what I don't get? Laid."

"Why Trump will win the election? He will use his Trump-card."

"My aunt Marge.. My aunt Marge has been ill for so long I've started thinking, ""I can't believe she's not better.."""

"My friend does a weekly bad joke Tuesday... Today's was quite good (Bad?) Yesterday, I made a belt out of old watches. What a complete waist of time."

"Nobody would show up to a ""White Lives Matter"" demonstration. They all have to work."