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Joke of the Day
"So its pancake Tuesday today That surely crepe'd up on us"
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"""I can't wait to move back to Mexico."" -No Juan, ever"
"Couple trolling A couple is sitting on the porch sipping wine. The wife says ""I love you"". The husband says ""Is that you or the wine talking?"". The wife replies ""It's me, talking to the wine""..."
"You know yer addicted to twitter when you count letters in the surgeon general's warning on the vodka bottle & think ""Yeah, that would fit."""
"What do you call a friendly Mancunian midwife? Ultra sound"
"For not knowing what's going on, dogs sure look embarrassed when you watch them taking a dump."
"Boycott shampoo demand real poo instead"
"Hot waitress just gave me her digits! I have them in a cooler in my trunk."
"Eat Chipotle with your hands? Fine. Eat stuff that falls out of it with your hands? Get stared at you like you smeared shit on someone's kid"
"Why can't Chinese couples have caucasian babies? Because two wongs dont make a white"