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Joke of the Day

"One time in band camp... They threatened me with eternal torture. Oh wait that was Bible camp."

"Congratulations to Janet Jackson for having a baby at age 50! When I was 50, I wasn't even strong enough to push a child out of my way."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathmatician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"Question: what's Erdogan's favorite puzzle game? Answer: pseudo-coup (say it out loud)"

"I'm pretty sure that if Walt Disney watched Disney Channel today, he would cry."

"I had to stop drinking. I kept getting that thing where you feel sick and your head hurts... Depression."

"Life is full of people you can't have and people you don't want."

"If you're looking for something fun and exciting to do, why not try anti-gravity? It never lets me down!"

"why was darth vader arrested? excessive use of force."

"What's honey mustards least favorite holiday? Cinco de Mayo"