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Joke of the Day

"Congratulations to Janet Jackson for having a baby at age 50! When I was 50, I wasn't even strong enough to push a child out of my way."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, But i dont know how they would get inside of it!"

"Jared Fogle is going to prison. It looks as if his steady diet of footlongs will continue"

"Where do the burgers go on New Year's Eve? To a meat ball!"

"Just once I'd like to yell, ""Don't you know who I am?!"" because I'm important, not because I'm drunk and actually forgot."

"Q: Why were the Clintonites pushing the BTU Tax? A: Because they could spell it."

"I'm terrified to death of someone stealing my identity and improving my credit"

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere."

"If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!"

"Raping someone on an elevator... is wrong on so many levels"