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Joke of the Day

"If you're looking for something fun and exciting to do, why not try anti-gravity? It never lets me down!"

"How do you pronounce ""nihilism?"" It doesn't matter"

"One ant was running across an unopened box of crackers and urging another to speed up. ""But why do we have to hurry?"" said one. ""Can you read you nut! It says Tear along the dotted line'""."

"Emailing professors be like Me: *polite greeting, multiple paragraphs, perfect grammar* Professor: ""sure"" -sent from my iPhone"

"If you were forced at gunpoint to either watch '50 Shades Of Grey' or read the book, what type of gun would you prefer to be shot dead with?"

"The fact that Gunplay pulled a gun on his accountant doesn't shock me nearly as much as the fact that Gunplay has an accountant."

"My son is sort of like rapunzel But instead of letting his hair down he lets everybody down."

"Where do all the bad hamburger buns live? In the seedy part of town"

"So Jesus can turn a Glass of Water into Wine Last night my drunk friend could turn a Glass of Water into Puke."

"Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?"