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Joke of the Day

"I dont pretend to be anything I'm not.. Except for sober I've pretended to be sober a few times"

"America, you're fired. Love, United Nations"

"What do you call a joke that makes fun of a woman, who has not consented to be made fun of? ...misogynistic."

"(TERRORIST WARNING) Why did the suicidal air go to the airport? So he could BLOW it up. Please don't hurt meh."

"What if the pilgrims had shot a Bobcat instead of a Turkey? (NSFW) We'd be eating pussy for Thanksgiving!"

"If someone says ""I will do anything for you"" lean in really close and say ""There's a body in my basement and I can't eat it all by myself."""

"What do you call an aardvark good with a light saber? A darthvark!"

"How I pissed off my girlfriend during sex. I called her."

"My Dad was the town drunk, ... and we lived in Chicago."

"[pun] I wanted to be a personal trainer... But I was too scrawny and had to hand in my too weak notice. (Credits to Adrian, badass Chef)"