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Joke of the Day

"How I pissed off my girlfriend during sex. I called her."

"wonder if ppl who watch the show Finding Bigfoot are aware that every episode they watch will end with them not finding Bigfoot..."

"Q: who was the world's first carpenter? A: Eve, she made Adam's banana stand!"

"I'm looking for a book on lack of empathy', I asked the librarian. Do I look like I give a fcuk?', he snapped. ""Yes, that's the one', I said."

"What is green and if you press a button its red? A frog in a mixer."

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? Q: What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? A: My ass!"

"My brother forgot his apple today. Until he was rear-ended by a doctor."

"What's the difference between period blood and sand? You can't gurgle sand."

"I used to work in mysterious ways. Now I just don't work."

"It's been a rough morning. Picked up my coffee, handle came off. Put on a shirt, button came off. Grabbed my tool box, handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!"