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Joke of the Day

"What if the pilgrims had shot a Bobcat instead of a Turkey? (NSFW) We'd be eating pussy for Thanksgiving!"

"I asked my friend what keeps her up at night. She answered, ""helium."" Also, my friend is a balloon."

"Facebook: Helping you acknowledge the existence of people you had been successfully ignoring for years."

"What is Hillary Clintons least favourite instrumeny? The trump-et."

"Did you know that Dracula wants to become a comedian? He's looking for a crypt writer."

"Twas the night before Christmas, all through the house not a creature was stirring not even my vodka martini because it's shaken not stirred"

"How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles."

"I got athlete's foot... I don't even work out, so I was flattered."

"What did Shang Tsung say after conquering South Korea? ""Your Seoul is mine!"""

"Obi-wan: *holding baby* Let's make her a famous princess Droid: What about the other baby? Obi-wan:*shrugs* Dump him in a desert somewhere"