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Joke of the Day

"What did the gay deer say after leaving the club? I can't believe I blew ten bucks in there."

"Why can't I think of a word that means something really good or really bad depending on how you use it in a sentence? Fuck!"

"What do you get when you cross a republican house with a democratic senate?"

"I'm going to name my daughter ""Up""... so when she brings a boy home, I can look him straight in the eye and say, ""Don't you dare fuck up."""

"Every female knows that one annoying boy who constantly asks ""So when we gonna chill?"""

"Hello police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away! Sorry this isn't the police station. It's the Delicatessen. Oh. Well in that case please send over a pastrami sandwich!"

"Did you hear about the lunatic who tried swimming in the river in Paris? He was in seine"

"Why shouldn't you buy underwear made in the Ukraine? Because Chernobyl fallout."

"What's the difference between... a G-Spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball."

"I'm impressed by girls who paint their eyebrows on. How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day? Like what if you find a penny?"