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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a republican house with a democratic senate?"

"Grabs intercom: ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO JOIN MY MILITIA, STAY HERE! WE ARE GOING TO OCCUPY THIS OLIVE GARDEN UNTIL I GET MORE BREADSTICKS"

"What does the snowman call his wife? Snowblower"

"""Drop it like it's hot,"" is my favorite song about dropping stuff that's hot."

"Lif... ...is too short."

"I'd totally shake what my momma gave me but abandonment issues aren't really a tangible physical manifestation....."

"Why... Can't illegal US immigrants play Uno? Because they keep stealing all the Green Cards"

"I design castles. AMA! For this AMA, I'd like to focus on rampart."

"This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents."

"A man walking into a bar and says, ""I'll have ten times more beers than your next biggest drinker"" The bartender replied, ""Now that's an order of magnitude!"""