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Joke of the Day

"Sit in Starbucks and scream into your phone, ""What we need is fresh screenwriting talent! An unknown! Where on earth can we find it?"""

"A book fell on my head I can only blame my shelf."

"Honesty is an important part of parenting. That being said, I'm going to tell my kids that McGruff the Crime Dog is a dog that loves crime."

"Is the KKK a good source of Potassium? Yes, because they're all bananas."

"What do you do, if you're jerking off when you're meant to do something else but you're putting it off? Procrasturbation."

"James Bond walks into a bar... James Bond walks into a bar and sits next to a chicken. Chicken: What's your name? Bond: My name's Bond. James Bond. Chicken: Nice to meet you, I'm Ken. Chick Ken."

"What did one boob say to the other boob? You're my breast friend"

"Me: What kind of Dr. treats men who won't talk on the phone? GF: What? M: A Guy-no-call-ogist. GF: I'm killing u in ur sleep tonight."

"Why can't you tell secrets in a corn field? Because, corn has ears!"

"A man gets into an argument with his wife... ...and wins."