67923

Joke of the Day

"Accordion to a recent survey, most people don't notice when a musical instrument is inserted into a sentence."

"What's the difference between Trump and a bucket of shit I don't have a shit bucket in my garage"

"What is Hillary Clinton's favorite dice game? Benghahtzee."

"Dictinry for sell. Never use."

"""I think you should hire a contractor. . .some of this looks load bearing."" - me, when asked to ""raise the roof"" at parties. . ."

"Guys: What should you do if you drop your wallet in San Francisco? Kick that shit to Oakland!!"

"I have an epileptic friend... He's a jerk..."

"What do you call an Egyptian spine manipulator? A Cairo-practor"

"Life is all about perspective... The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."

"When flying to Prague... ...all of your bags are Czeched"