152027

Joke of the Day

"TIFU when my parents weren't home. turns out it is really hard getting your dick out of a dvd once you get erect"

"Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Don't worry ma'am I'm just passing through."

"What's the difference between wild Iranian Ossetra caviar and my penis? One is a delicacy (Deh-Lih-Cuh-See) and the other is a delicady (Deh-Lih-Cuh-Dee) Edit: The D"

"Grammar is: 1. How we structure our sentences. 2. Grandpa's wife. Some of you will pick number two."

"I can be the man of your dreams... ...if you dream of a man who exposes himself to the elderly on public transport."

"""Welcome to lazy club. My name i-*doors get kicked in* ""THIS IS A ROBBERY! NOBODY MOVE!"" [voice from the back] ""Nobody was going to."""

"I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life."

"what do you call a black man that flies an airplane? a pilot you racist fuck"

"How do vegetarians give blowjobs? They stick to just eating the head cheese"

"What do women and dog shit have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up"