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Joke of the Day

"How do vegetarians give blowjobs? They stick to just eating the head cheese"

"How do the Chinese name their children They drop silverware in the sink and listen to the sound it makes"

"LOIS LANE: *pulls back from kissing* clark your glasses are hurting my nose can you take them off CLARK KENT: no"

"If Pokemon has taught me anything it's that if I see a cute animal I should force my cat to fight it until it's weak enough to enslave."

"I feel sorry for people who's middle names start with V... Their first and last names are always fighting."

"It doesn't matter what you order at Taco bell... You're going to end up with Taco-ria"

"The neighbours dogs woke me up last night barking loudly. So I threw my shoes out of the window at them and that shut them up. It was a pair of hush puppies."

"Put the punchline in the title. How do you ruin a good joke?"

"Most monkeys don't like bananas, they're just being sexy."

"You guys ever smear fake blood on your mouth, put on a ripped shirt, go in somewhere and pretend you got mugged? PEOPLE ARE SO NICE!"