151982

Joke of the Day

"Are there holes in your socks? No? Then how do you put them on?"

"If sex were fast food, you'd have and M-shaped arch over your head."

"Wouldn't it be messed up if we found out Rome was built in like 23.5 hours?"

"What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? There's only one Bender in Futurama"

"I feel really bad about being at this girl's house last night. I came in seconds. Besides that, what kind of shitty name is that for a cat?"

"A good prank is to rent a Mercedes, stick a huge bow on it, and park it in front of your neighbor's house"

"What do we want?! LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES! When do we want em?! NNNNEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW"

"What did the unimpressed cheese say? Que... so?"

"Of course I've slept in the wet spot My ex drooled like a Komodo dragon"

"A bug hit the windshield and my Grandma said: ""I bet he won't have the guts to do that again!"""