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Joke of the Day

"Last night I dreamt I was a muffler... I woke up this morning exhausted."

"I like dig bick. you that read wrong. you read that wrong too."

"[bald eagles exchanging gifts] *holds out gift* You didn't get me a toupee again, did you? -Uhh... *slowly pulls gift back*"

"You have to put a potato in the microwave to push the potato button. Other things dont turn into potatoes. *brought to you by Bounty*"

"I call bullshit, airport baby changing station! I wanted an Asian baby but I'm stuck with the white kid I flew in with."

"Did you hear about the drug addict who went to court for flipping off the cops? It was a case of two birds one stoner"

"There's two things I hate. Hypocrisy and condescension. Do you understand what I mean?"

"(Super Smash Bros. Joke) Why do waiters like a good Marth player? He tips well."

"Two men .... Two men walked into a building, You would have thought one of them would have seen it!"

"Why didn't the Terminator upgrade to Windows 10? I asked him and he said, ""I still love Vista baby""."