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Joke of the Day

"Last night I dreamt I was a muffler... I woke up this morning exhausted."

"My favorite thing about myself is that I'm humble."

"Sad iPad Why was the iPad sad? Someone took a bite out of its Apple."

"How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe? No- Good. Yes- That's too much."

"Women are like Fruits. Every Woman has her own unique taste and color. But The problem is the Men. They seem to love Fruit salad..!!"

"Did you hear the news about quadriplegia research? No? Probably because they haven't been making great strides."

"Did you hear about that new bald eagle poison? It's illegal if you use it."

"Why are men typically smarter than women? They come across more things."

"I'm constantly amazed at how different my twin daughters are. Lisa is so much more positive & confident than her sister Hog Face."

"Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind someone on a stationary bike and pretend you're angrily chasing them."