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Joke of the Day

"i bet when Kid Rock invented rap, people were like ""No! This is nonsense!"" but he (in typical Kid fashion) was like ""F*ck you're rules! """

"i asked my wife to send me a naughty picture on snapchat... so she sent one of our kids playing in my electronics drawer"

"I don't pay my taxes... Because I'm smart."

"Hello this is ur pilot speaking We almost began our descent but my copilot said ""turn down for what"" so looks like we r rerouting to Cancun"

"Diets are like ghosts. They might exist, but I wouldn't know."

"Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks ""Do all of you want a drink?"" The first logician says ""I don't know."" The second logician says ""I don't know."" The third logician says ""Yes!"""

"Perhaps the darkest joke of all time. What happens when the sun goes down? It gets dark."

"What blood disease do communists get? Hammer and sickle cell anemia."

"We both want it. My lips part. His do, too. The tension pulsates. ""I'll take the one w/ sprinkles!"" And that's how I got the last one."

"What do you call a koala that drives? A koalafied driver! *badum-tis*"