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Joke of the Day

"i asked my wife to send me a naughty picture on snapchat... so she sent one of our kids playing in my electronics drawer"

"I wish my ears would visibly lay back like a cats when I'm pissed off so people would know when to leave me the hell alone."

"Walking by the lingerie section Youngest: Why do they make the underwear so fancy? No one is ever going to see it anyway. Me: Uh huh."

"Ethereal A breakfast suggestion from Mike Tyson"

"Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female... The female egg says ""Oh my, look, I've got a crack"" ""No good telling me"" replies the male egg, ""I'm not even hard yet"""

"Who says, ""Bugs, you stole my hearing aids?! You're despicable!"" Deafy Duck"

"What is Forest Gump's password? 1forest1"

"Boy calls911 Boy calls 911. Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear."

"A cowboy goes to the barber. When the barber is done cutting his hair, the cowboy goes back outside. And guess what? Pony gone."