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Joke of the Day

"dad u make dolphin noises mom u make pinacolada noises grandma u put on this sailboat costume. I told this girl on skype im 16/surfer/hawaii"

"GOD: no work on the sabbath or I'll kill you ISRAEL [hasn't had a day off in 400 years]: awesome! GOD: what ISRAEL: we mean...oh no so hard"

"What's the difference between Leibniz and the Civil Rights Movement? Leibniz was able to integrate in 1675."

"What'd the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip."

"What did the rabbit say to the deer? What up doe"

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they are both stuck up bitches."

"Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The one who can bring his friends two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts."

"What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a healthy dog have in common? 84% of their dna"

"Cheez-Its are hands down the BEST cheese flavored pronouns."

"What does an Italian sound like walking through the rain? Dago wop wop wop"