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Joke of the Day

"He died doing what he loved, waving a metal rod on a rooftop in a storm, yelling FU, GOD! Although he slipped & fell, Ted's memory lives on."

"What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A pit bull."

"A family is at the table eating dinner. ""I don't like Grandpa"" said the boy to his Mom. ""That's okay honey, just finish your potatoes instead."" She replied."

"Everyone is making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow. :O"

"After Dante was Iced He went to the ""Inferno"" cause it was warm :P"

"If I lived in Alabama, I'd name my daughter, 'Banjo-lina""."

"My wife... It's difficult to say what she does... She sells seashells on the seashore."

"A cow walked to the store to buy some milk... but cows don't have hands so they can't use grocery stores or grab milk in a container. It was an udder failure."

"My 3 yr old is so encouraging. I changed my shirt; she says""Daddy, you did it!"" If she finds out I use the potty by myself, she'll flip out."

"If there is no complaining after a glass utensil is broken in your home... You can bet your ass it was broken by your mom."