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Joke of the Day

"Hug? Said the bunny to the oncoming lawnmower"

"My girlfriend told me I need to spice things up in the bedroom... So I told her I would cumin her pussy. (That joke only works sometimes because it's seasonal)"

"4 AM BLADDER: Get up. You need to go STOMACH: And you're hungry BRAIN: Imagine if Hammer Time was a real time zone. We'd have to move there"

"I choose what country to visit each year by the shape of the first chicken nugget I eat."

"Me: Want to see me do The Robot? Friend: Sure. Me: Friend: Why aren't you moving? Me: Updating software."

"OVERHEARD - Woman 1: ""We went downtown to visit 9/11..."" Woman 2: ""You mean the World Trade Center?"" Woman 1: ""No that's not there anymore."""

"Before Chris Brown did a concert with them,,, they were just known as ""The Peas""."

"I just want to have a long enough career in show business so I can become eccentric and bring a goat to a meeting or some shit"

"Why did the cowboy adopt a weiner dog? He wanted to git a long little doggy."

"What happens when a spoon and fork get into a fight? civilwar"