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Joke of the Day

"Good news, The doctor says I'm health as a horse. Bad news, she keeps using large farm animals to describe me."

"*man lies on death bed* But it can't be my time. I have...so much more...constructive criticism to give..."

"Before you get all smug about ""science"" ask yourself why no microwave can penetrate the heart of a lasagna."

"""What?""- pothead owl"

"Thank you to the Spanish public for. .. ...rallying round and providing new headlines."

"What is the Terminators Muslim name? Al Bi Baq"

"What is Brazil's favorite game right now? Hide and go zika"

"What did the chef say when Hannibal Lecter sent his breast meat back, complaining it was overcooked? ""TOUGH TITTIES!"""

"The guy at the grocery store just asked if I brought my reusable bag with me and I told him its none of his business where my girlfriend is"

"What do you call a clever joke that doesn't make it to the front page? A clever joke, but nobody will have Reddit..."