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Joke of the Day

"All I want in this world is some one I can turn to and yell, ""Avenge Me!!"" if I'm dying or wrongly accused of a crime. Oh and rocket shoes"

"I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words."

"I startled my dog as she was peeing on a mailbox so now the dog she was leaving a message for is only gonna get half of it"

"An eskimo on holiday in Wales... His car breaks down. A Welshman looks under the bonnet and says, ""you've blown a seal"" Eskimo says ""so what, you fuck sheep"""

"knock knock whos there"

"fat girls with small boobs are the reason i have trust issues"

"Q: What do Fidel Castro and Harambe have in common? A: They're both dead gorillas."

"A pickup like I thought of when i was younger. If I was a duck and you were a fish, and we were swimming in the same pond, what would that make me? On top of you."

"What's going to be thinner than the IPhone 8? Apples ideas."

"All I want for Christmas Boy: I want a brother for Christmas. Santa: Send me your mother."