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Joke of the Day

"An eskimo on holiday in Wales... His car breaks down. A Welshman looks under the bonnet and says, ""you've blown a seal"" Eskimo says ""so what, you fuck sheep"""

"Samantha from Facebook wants everyone to know she & her family are going on a cruise next week just in case you want to break into her house"

"I used to work as a waiter... ...the hours were terrible, but hey, it put food on the table."

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a hill and turned into a field"

"I like to ask the waiter, ""What do you recommend?"" then stare at him angrily while I order something completely different."

"When I got my new job, my boss said I could name my salary But he said ""paltry"" and "" inadequate"" were already taken."

"don't worry, if there's a third world war, the United States won't be involved because it's a first world country"

"Society's a wreck because Superman has nowhere to change."

"Why didn't the Blonic Pig get a TV series of his own? He made the mistake of going to a barbecue with the Bionic Man and the Blonic Woman."

"I wanted to smoke a joint at the Mexican border... I wonder why everyone ran away when I asked for papers"