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Joke of the Day

"fat girls with small boobs are the reason i have trust issues"

"I put my phone in airplane mode. Worst. Transformer. Ever."

"I want to play checkers today so I can say ""Martin Luther King me!"""

"A tree was knocked down by a recent storm... and destroyed an African family's home. The thing is, we didn't even know they lived up there!"

"The worst part about breaking up right before Halloween is now I have to explain at every party why I'm dressed as half of a horse."

"[drops son off for 1st day at daycare] ""Ok, Mr Hughes, see you at 3 o'clock."" ""Not a chance. He's your problem now."""

"Why was the paper man sent to jail? He was caught rustling."

"What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ? Something from another universe -ity !"

"I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language... ...entirely out of tattoos."

"I did a random survey/poll on the street and according to 98% of people, ""Leave me alone""!"