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Joke of the Day

"I startled my dog as she was peeing on a mailbox so now the dog she was leaving a message for is only gonna get half of it"

"I've been shoveling manure all day So don't give me any bullshit."

"Tv: The abominable snowman is very dangerous ""Obamanible snowman...?"" *obama walks in* Everything okay joe? *nervously* ""Uh yeah just fine"""

"A black man, an Asian and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender tells them to get out."

"How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram"

"Volkswagen just introduced a new electric car... It's called the Volts Wagon."

"How do you call a beautiful feminist? An oxymoron"

"How do you call Niggeria leaving EU? blackout"

"[being murdered] Me: did you get that knife out of the dishwasher Murderer: ...yes Me: and you didnt empty it Murderer: [murder roles reverse]"

"Why did Billy Joel get acquitted? Because he didn't start the fire."