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Joke of the Day

"A Photon Checks into a hotel... The bellhop ask, ""can I help you with your luggage?"" It replies, ""I don't have any, I'm traveling light."""

"Two Grandma's Are Walking Down The Street... One says to the other 'My chest is tight, and I feel heavy'. The other one replies 'That's because you're standing on your left titty.'."

"What is an alcoholic Mexican's favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird"

"I turned off Auto-Correct for the first time, and now my new girlfriend thinks she has a face that launched a 1000 shits."

"Alcohol is claiming me as a dependent on his taxes this year."

"What did the druggie scientist say when he got high on Helium? He He"

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says ""hey, we don't serve your kind here"". The mushroom says ""why not? I'm a 'fungi' Bam, you've all been PUNNED!"

"Why are so many Italians named Tony? Because when they left the old country, immigration officers put a sticker on their lapel that read To NY."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through the mountains."

"Family...Friends....Fun...Fridays. All good things start with ""F""."