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Joke of the Day

"My wife walked out on me, telling me it was over. I just sat there eating my popcorn, watching the end credits."

"Why do asian girls have small boobs? Because only A's are acceptable."

"What do we want?! LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES! When do want them?! NNNNNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWW!!!"

"If my son's science project is to see how annoying he can be before I kill him then he's almost done."

"Say what you want about deaf people."

"What did the egg say after he was put in a pot of boiling water? I just got laid by a chick and now I'm getting hard."

"*flips table* YO WHO CALLED THEM EXPIRATION DATES INSTEAD OF SPOILER ALERTS"

"This coffee is so strong it just raised 5 children on a nurse's salary."

"Man goes to the doctor ""Doctor I think my wife is dead."" ""What do you mean think! Either she's dead or she isn't Well replies the man ""The sex is the same but the washing is piling up in the sink"""

"Did you hear about the pirates who became shoe shiners? They were s*washbuckling*!"