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Joke of the Day

"A wizard walks into a gay bar... ...And disappears with a poof."

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"In Australia your best friend and your worst enemy are both called a.. Cunt"
"Funny shit 52% of all women have used vibrators , the other 48% have new ones ."
"Top-down is the right way to wash just about anything... ...but apparently not convertibles."
"What did the monkey say when he put his tail on the railroad tracks? It's won't be long now!"
"What does a Jew do at a coffee shop? Hebrew's coffee"
"I just got a papercut... we'll just see if I recycle this week... stupid cunt tree."
"Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode really..."
"An idea only achieves transcendence after it is: 1. Published as book 2. Made into a feature film 3. Turned into an amusement park ride"
"TIFU by mixing up my wives subway orders. I gave Lucy's to Rosa, and Rosa's to Lucy."