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Joke of the Day

"An idea only achieves transcendence after it is: 1. Published as book 2. Made into a feature film 3. Turned into an amusement park ride"

"Q: How many republicans does it take to disarm the law abiding public so that the government can enforce totalitarianistic and unconstitutional laws? A: None. The Sociali--Democrats do that"

"Word of the Day: Eskihoe A girl that wears UGG boots and a miniskirt at the same time."

"Know what I call girls who run faster than me? Cardio"

"What do ghosts drink? BOOOOOZE"

"Who was the greatest prostitute of all time? Ms. Pacman. for 25 cents that bitch swallowed balls until she died"

"Last Night.. I was about to kill a spider. My wife told me to take it out instead. Turns out he's a pretty cool guy, his names Luke and he want's to be a lawyer."

"Do Not Be Racist ..... Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew"

"What's worse than being a tanning salon owner in Africa? Being a Somali Uber driver in Columbus, Ohio."

"What did the police officer say to Tom Brady during a routine traffic stop? Your tires are low."