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Joke of the Day

"An idea only achieves transcendence after it is: 1. Published as book 2. Made into a feature film 3. Turned into an amusement park ride"

"What's long and hard on a black guy His prison sentence I hope this hasn't been said before, I half came up with this all by my lonesome"

"Donkey kong, king kong, and a smart blonde fight on top of the empire state building. Who wins? None of them, they don't exist!"

"How is American beer like having sex in a canoe? Because it's fucking close to water."

"Windows: ""You may be the victim of software counterfeiting"" no Microsoft,it is you who is the victim of software counterfeiting here, not I"

"I don't respect Aquaman, because I can't respect a hero whose arch nemesis is that plastic drink holder that you find on a six pack of cans."

"My girlfriend must think that I'm John Cena. She told me she's not seeing me anymore."

"So what I want to open a comedy club called Terri Yets pub... Everyone that lives there has Tourette's syndrome."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never let a garbanzo bean in my mouth."

"Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are."