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Joke of the Day

"How did the tiger escape from the zoo without being spotted? Tigers have stripes."

"I once saw a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds..."

"I have an EpiPen... My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"I thought being patronized would be cool until they explained it did not involve tequila."

"I've been locked in a room to cure my acne. I haven't broken out yet."

"Tutorial: How to make sure your Reddit post blows up Ill tell you if this reaches 50 upvotes edit: ~~added joke~~ update"

"Hate being fat. Love eating food."

"How do you know when it is bedtime at a pedophile's house? When the big hand touches the little hand."

"WIFE: I can't believe you slept with my twin thinking it was me ME: Cut me some slack he was wearing your perfume"

"What do you call someone who is not nice? Denice. (De-nice)"