205626

Joke of the Day

"I thought being patronized would be cool until they explained it did not involve tequila."

"I want a pet otter just so I can introduce it as my otter half."

"I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with.. But I've been tripping all day."

"Where do cars get the most flat tires? Where there is a fork in the road."

"You know why I was mad after I had sex with the women I love? Because she woke up"

"I just don't understand how moats ever went out of style."

"What do redditors give one another on Christmas? Gifs."

"My WD-40 can rusted. Now that's irony."

"I once had a brush with Death and then a floss and a rinse; no woman wants to get intimate with a dark annihilator of souls with bad teeth."

"I used to dislike the idea of having a beard ... but it slowly grew on me."