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Joke of the Day

"Had a three-way on Valentine's night... Me and Ben & Jerrys. I'm so lonely."

"Survival Tip: When flipping off your wife behind her back... Make sure she's not standing in front of a mirror."

"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. The FedEx guy, and the Walmart greeter. Mom's kind of a slut."

"Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches."

"Why did the punster enjoy the Broadway show about etymology? Because it was a play on words."

"What's a con-artists favorite holiday? Scamentine's Day."

"Mirror salesman... Now there is a job I could see myself doing."

"Sometimes when people text me ""K"", I like to text them ""L- omg you next!!"""

"To little kid eyeing my McDonalds: thats right i can eat this any time i want... Dont ask about any of the other parts of my life please."

"If I could have been any Monarch in history I would have been George the 6th But with asthma. That way I could introduce myself by saying I'm King George... and Wheezy."