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Joke of the Day

"What does a nine-volt battery and a woman's asshole have in common? Eventually, you're going to put your tongue on both."

"What's a knife's favorite dessert? Slice cream."

"i like shaking hands with old guys with really tough hands because it feels like im grabbing onto a horse saddle"

"Why did the hipster go to the gynecologist? To get a Pabst smear."

"If you don't like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car."

"I like my women like I like my coffee not older than 12 years"

"What do you call it when Batman leaves church early? Christian Bail Credit goes to my friendly local pizza guy"

"I will die one day at a Del Taco, shot dead by a SWAT team after taking several hostages over what I feel is the meaning of extra cheese."

"I don't see why everyone likes circles so much They're so pointless."

"Grandma: 'And that's how me and your grandfather chose the colour of toaster in our first home' Me: 'So you haven't seen my scarf?'"