150526

Joke of the Day

"Cute Internet Girl: This guy is pretty funny, I think I'll fol- Me: *Human Cannonballs my way into her living room* HELLO!"

"Slave1: I never knew my parents Slave2: same Moses: I was put in a basket & placed in a river Slave1: do baskets float? Moses: they do not"

"Your Momma is like Communism no class"

"If swimming is such great cardio, explain manatees."

"What did Sean Connery do when he saw a guy drowning? he started undressing and yelled 'I will shave you'"

"Why You Need Insurance by Justin Case"

"A ""lady"" and a ""woman"" are exactly the same thing unless they are prefaced with cat."

"What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An Investigator!"

"Do you know what the best part about banging 21 year olds is? There's 21 of them."

"I'm not sure I understand What The Hell you're talking about....But.....you're showing cleavage, so I will listen."