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Joke of the Day

"What did Sean Connery do when he saw a guy drowning? he started undressing and yelled 'I will shave you'"

"I love when people say to me... Omg! Your so funny on FB. If they only knew about my awesome copy & paste ability..They could be just as funny!"

"""So, how's life in North Korea?"" ""Well, I can't complain!"""

"Why didn't the electron leave it's house? Because it was grounded."

"I need to find out what my company needs to do in order to get protests by topless women."

"I weighed myself today, then I ate the scale."

"A friend of mine was reading an article on a newspaper talking about the dangers of drinking, after that he stopped doing what he loved... ...reading."

"I'm funny. But hey looks aren't everthing! Source: roger miller"

"I find if you sprinkle some bacon bits on a salad, but don't actually add any salad, then its a pretty good salad."

"""Let's blast some Jack Johnson and call each other Broseph and dump our girlfriends with a text."" -Dudes who wear salmon colored jean shorts"