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Joke of the Day

"Some days having kids makes it all worthwhile. I haven't experienced any yet, but statistically they're bound to happen at some point."

"What do you call a fat guy with an unhealthy interest in his mother? Adipose Rex."

"The world's largest egg is laid by the Ostrich... And the world's largest woman is laid by your dad."

"You know how Brussels sprouts and anal sex are kinda the same?? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you probably won't like it as an adult"

"Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonald's; Not funny, grow up."

"Why was Timothy, the British astronaut, selected to go to the ISS? He was in Peake condition."

"Porn stars' favorite drink? 7-Up 'n cider."

"Did you guys hear about what Nelly thought? She thought chicken manure was jelly."

"What did the Japanese chef say when his mother died? Well, that's the edamame."

"""Can I watch you open it?"" -Weird UPS guy"