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Joke of the Day

"Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonald's; Not funny, grow up."

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip!"

"Why don't prawns give to charity? Because they're shellfish."

"Don't stare at me during sex! I don't know you!"

"My wife suffers from a case of constant halitosis... So I guess it's a good thing I'm hung like a TicTac."

"I do really well on Jeopardy. I get all the answers, every one of them, almost instantly. I do, however, have a lot of trouble coming up with the questions."

"Hey Reddit, Guess What? Chicken Butt..."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything."

"Out of all the gruesome noises coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most troubling."

"HER: You've run over my dog ME: I'm so sorry HER: You're gonna have to replace him ME: [imagines finally being called a good boy] yes please"