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Joke of the Day

"You know how Brussels sprouts and anal sex are kinda the same?? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you probably won't like it as an adult"

"My girlfriend has really changed since she became a vegetarian... ...sometimes I feel like I've never seen herbefore."

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? Because I really don't like running the 400M dash."

"All those subreddits going private proves that Reddit's CEO isn't the person that should be in Pao-er"

"Headache A guy asked his wife how she slept and she said 'not well, I was up in the night with a headache'. 'Funny', he said, 'I don't remember waking up and asking you for sex'."

"What is the difference between acne and gay men? Acne only attacks little boys when they reach puberty"

"Why did the rancher vivisect his daughter? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . He wanted to reverse cowgirl."

"For Valentine's Day my GF upped my life insurance policy. Unrelated, anyone know why there's a ticking sound coming from underneath my car?"

"I used to work at an orange juice company But I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."

"After spending twenty minutes making up outrageous symptoms, WebMD diagnosed me immature, and an asshole."