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Joke of the Day

"What did the tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when he bumped into the him? Sorry, my fault."

"What did onlookers say to the Wright Brothers as they took off? BYE PLANE"

"Got this email from a friend: CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?"

"They say your memory is the first thing to go But I can't remember losing that"

"A little boy wrote a letter to Santa stating he wanted a little sister The next day he got a letter from santa saying: Ok send me your mother"

"I stole a futon from a shop. I think the police are after me, so I have beenlying low."

"If I'm ever arrested, I would use my one phone call for pizza."

"What did the depressed light switch say? I can't go on."

"[my weiner falls off my body, into the toilet] ugh mercury must be in retrograde again"

"I had sex on a camping trip for the first time recently... It was fucking in tents."